photography.

So this blog started because I wanted to share my photography. I wanted to be  a "cool" blogging mom with weekly Instagram worth photos. Flash forward to two toddlers, a lot of cracker crumbs, and a ton of laundry to do and you can say I lost steam for my insta-famous goal.

That isn't to say I don't love the chaos that is my life. I really do but I also really miss something about the "ignorant me". That happy pregnant lady with amble time on her hands had bold ambitions as she Pinterest the crap out of her beautiful dream life. But here I am in a chocolate stained shirt, with a messy mom bun, and happy heart as my two minions nap. 

But I really do miss photography the most. I miss being inspired and seeking beautiful places to be present and capture the light of the world. I miss having free time to photograph the evening light without having to worry about bedtime fast approaching. I miss having no fear, worry or self doubt that my photographs were awesome. I was arrogant, confident, and my life was interesting (or at least I thought so). 

What changed? Did age make me less confident? Did motherhood exhaust all ambition? When did I start to doubt myself, and why?

It is hard for me to say "2019 is going to be the year that everything changes", "I'm going to photography my perfect life and be awesome yet again" and actually believe it. But maybe I'm going to say those statements to myself, and when I feel that self doubt creep in I'm going to say it again. 

I am enough, and I am good.

With that I'm going to share some "not good enough" photos from this past year to help quiet that self doubt.