motherhood.

I looked up the word 'Motherhood' to better understand it's official meaning and it was defined as the state of being a mother. This word that describes thousands of women is so plainly put as 'the state of being a mother'. I struggle to believe that motherhood can ever be described so simply.

I've only been a mom for a few months now, but the enormity that is motherhood has consumed me completely.

 I think of other words that use the suffix "-hood." Words like neighborhood, livelihood and sisterhood come to mind. How is it that these words all seem to add to the depth and complexity of the definition of motherhood?

Motherhood is a neighborhood. I don't find myself out at a store or a public place without experiencing a huge outpouring of empathy. Whether it is manifested as a stranger helping me load my groceries as I desperately try to wrangle a fussy Albert and a full shopping cart in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart, or just an adoring glance from a woman who recognizes the connection I have with my son.  As soon as a small sense of loneliness, brought about by the stress of motherhood, begins to fill me I catch myself being approached in the checkout line by a woman telling me of her own journey. Sometimes these stories are funny, happy or even sad, but they are never told to me without a deep air of empathy. In motherhood we are never alone.

Motherhood is livelihood. Livelihood is defined as a means of supporting one's existence and I fully believe that is what happens the moment we are handed our child for the first time. Our existence is made truer, deeper, and far more meaningful when we enter motherhood. I never want my whole identity to be defined as a mom because I believe I am much more than that, but my existence was deeply changed when I had Albert. Anyone who has stayed up late rocking a crying baby, smelled stinky toes just for a giggle, or loved a scribbled piece of paper can attest for how much motherhood changes the meaning of your existence. The happiness and success of this person in your life becomes your main focus and drive. Motherhood becomes your existence.

Motherhood is a sisterhood. When I first wrote this post I could only think of neighborhood and livelihood as descriptors for motherhood, but I knew I was missing another word. I thought about two really important woman who have become my best friends over these past 6 months and I couldn't help but to think of the depth of our relationships.

Amanda, my sister, seems like an obvious pick when I say sisterhood because she is my biological sister, but it truly goes much deeper than that. Amanda has been such an amazing role model in my motherhood journey. She had her second baby, Aurora, just two months after Albert was born and I cherish having her around so much. She sends me silly Snap-Chat's of midnight feedings, and tells me not to worry too much about Albert's baby acne. We talk about bad and good latches (breast feeding solidarity) and when we are together we laugh so hard about stupid things that we pee a little (very true story). Amanda is there when I have a question about being a mom to a little boy and shows great empathy when I tell her about losing friendships. She is just an incredible mother and I'm so happy to call her my sister.

Another incredible woman who has become my sister through motherhood is Rachel. Rachel and I met at the pediatrician's office the day after our babies were born.  We both had our babies at the birth center so I knew we had potential to have a lot in common. The first time we hung out we went for a walk and just told each other our birth stories and from that day on she became my best friend. Rachel and I have so much in common that I struggle to believe that our friendship could have been avoided. We tell each other everything and in the 6 short months we have known each other I think she has seen me cry over a million times. She is always there for me when I need to rant about being thrown up on for the millionth time or when I need someone to tell me I'm doing okay.

These two amazing woman have been in the trenches of motherhood with me and the bond we have created can only be described as a sisterhood. I'm so grateful they are always there for me and I know that as my family continues to change and grow so will the bond I have with Amanda and Rachel.